Today is my 3rd day since i came back from kl and today is also my 1st day back at work. I cant seem to concentrate on my work..and still cant forget him. Life sucks!! Am again going clubbing tonite and probably get drunk and trying damn hard not to miss or think of him. Which I know it's not going to be easy, not even sure whether i can do it. No wonder people say loving someone can kill yourself.

I cant think straight, i cant go on like this. Im torturing myself, my mind and my soul. Nothing seems to go the right way and nothing seems to work out the way I wanted it to. Love is just so unpredictable and unfair. The whole world is just so grey and dull to me. Nothing can prove it wrong, nothing can make me strong.

I was searching through my old mobile last night, and there I found his picture. I missed him even more then. It's like wherever I go, I see him everywhere. But it was only in my mind. I think I'm having doubt in my mentality ability now. I know I am going crazy and I am not my usual self anymore. What can I do to be happy? Where can i find myself back? I must confess that I am mentally and emotionally ill. And Im bitting my own nerves taking up all my courage here to publish this out in my blog... and people will definately think differently of me after they read this...yes I am sure.

Life is so weird, always full of curiosity but yet disappointing in time when the truth has been discovered. It is the same with human behaviour and human feelings. Some people can be so faked and pretend to be someone else, some can be demanding and cruel, some can be so fragile and some can be so over the top. Moderately, people tend to so damn sickening. We could never understand each other that well no matter how close we are together. At least I cant understand how he can be so passionate and intimate with me that moment, and the next minute, he can be so cold and feelingless towards me. Is it only intimacy that he is looking for despite telling me that he do have feelings for me? Is it a lie? How could he do this to me? Not even a call or text from him till now. MEN...MEN...MEN... men are all the same. Never a word from them can be trusted. Love happily ever after only happens in fairy tales...